This is a message to desperate parents out there. Parents of young folks who’ve made some bad choices here and there. Parents with loved ones they fear are taking dangerous roads in life. Parents of the psychologically troubled who just don’t want to have to deal with it.
Don’t you love your children? Don’t you want them safe? Don’t you want them both physically and mentally healthy? I’m sure you do. In that case, quit making such rash choices.
I’m talking, of course, about the plethora of shortsighted caregivers who have sent their children to places like Academy of Ivy Ridge, Robert Land Academy, Eagle Point Christian Academy, Thayer Learning Center, Provo Canyon, Tranquility Bay, Casa by the Sea, and dozens of other such facilities whose existence makes me violently ill.
Think about something. How did you folks hear about these places? How much did you know about them before deciding to pay them thousands and thousands of dollars to permanently scar and abuse your children? That’s right. You heard me. Scar and abuse. That is what has happened in the past. That is what is happening now at these places. That is what will continue to happen until people learn to grow a brain. The places listed above have injured, raped, and killed their students. I’m not kidding. I concede you probably didn’t know these places have done that, but that is no excuse.
Think about it. When you decide to buy a car, do you just buy the first one you see from the first lot you visit? Don’t you go to some length to be sure the car and the dealer are somewhat reliable? I’m sure you do. Even if something turned out wrong, you can fix it somehow. But you still checked stuff out and that’s smart. Another question. When you visit a gynecologist, if you so much as heard an obscure rumor that this doctor has sexually abused patients before, wouldn’t you find another doctor? You would. I mean, the rumor could be wrong, but who wants to take the risk? If you heard a restaurant near you was serving spoiled food, you sure as hell wouldn’t eat there, right?
So, tell me. Why on earth would you send someone whom you apparently love more than anything in the world to some place you’ve barely heard of and know little to nothing about and have never even seen, and seriously expect everything will turn out fine? Even if you did at least do a thorough search about these places, did you seriously miss all the websites of organizations and memorials warning people that these places are dangerous and have killed their students? Did you really believe that was all a crock and the facility’s own website had to be true? When your child’s well-being and even life are on the line, you still even took that chance?
Seriously. Look these places up! Don’t just read their own sales pitch. You know better than that. Read everything and anything you can get your hands on about these places. Keep an eye on the sources of information as well. You’ll learn everything you need to know.
Yes, NYRA is very much against these places for obvious youth rights reasons, but even so, if you follow everything I just said, I don’t need to give the whole “you should never send your kid to places like this” spiel. You will have figured that out on your own. Well, I should think anyway.
If you’ve done all this and you STILL think these behavior mod facilities, particularly ones whose programs have had students die in them, are what your child needs, here’s a better idea. Don’t contact these schools or camps. Contact your local family services office and let them know you are not a proper caregiver for these young people and that they need to remove your children from your custody and into foster care. You know why? Because it would be win-win. You’re too dumb or too clouded with irrational urges to be a safe parent to these youth, so they’d be away from you. Also, if you’re so desperate to send them away to a behavior mod facility, it looks more and more like what you really want is to not be burdened with their problems (however understandably emotional), and you just want your kids out of sight so you don’t need to think about it. This accomplishes that, too. Why not? You’re giving up your child either way. If you want to stay this person’s parent, then BE a parent. Don’t bury your head in sand as soon as things look difficult. There is NO excuse for that. Ever.
“Why are you in such a hurry to grow up?” It or some variation of it is the end of many debates on Youth Rights. It’s a simple way for an ageist to wriggle out of the tight spot in which they have been placed on the issues. “Just enjoy your childhood.” Anybody who has been a teenager within the last few years is well aware that teenage years are no longer the carefree, innocent time they are often thought to be. Maybe they were like that thirty years ago, or maybe it only exists in the minds of those who don’t fully remember when they were 16. In either case, the stereotype exists and it’s no longer anything close to true.
If you look beneath the surface, however, this “innocence” myth is more than just a way to end debates. It also gives ageists all of the other reasons they need to debate youth rights. Just take a look at the responses often heard for, say, lowering the voting age. “Teens don’t know much about politics.” Maybe we would if it were considered an appropriate study for a child. Sure, there are no laws against showing a newspaper to a fifth grader, but when was the last time you noticed somebody sharing opinions on the Iraq War with a 10-year-old? As soon as a child enters the room, the conversation shifts to a more “pleasant” topic. Schools don’t help much either. When they should be discussing current events with students of any age, many schools are exposing them only to the “… For Kids!” media outlets with some watered down news but mostly interviews with some teen sensation whose name I’ve probably never even heard. Some younger kids manage to get around all of these blocks to their social awareness and develop an interest in politics. We here call them NYRA members. Is it any surprise that kids who become interested and knowledgeable about politics want to vote?
Protectionism is behind almost every aspect of the “inexperience” chalked up to youth. Teens don’t have enough experience behind the wheel to drive. Of course they don’t, because they can’t drive! Kids aren’t as adept at handling money matters. Why? Because there’s so much legal red tape barring them from earning significant amounts of it. It’s dangerous for teens to drink. Why? The only way to develop a tolerance to alcohol is to begin drinking small amounts of it. Teens are still living in their parents’ house and still dependent on their parents. Why? Need I say more?
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that all 7-year-olds should wake up tired in the morning, put on a suit, grab some coffee and trudge off to work. There’s certainly still some allure in the innocence of childhood, myth or truth. However, if the purpose of childhood is really just to gradually prepare one for life, maybe there should be a little more preparation rather than simply sheltering people completely until age 18 and then pushing them out of the nest and hoping they know how to fly. Keyword: gradually. Just like anything else, adulthood is dangerous when taken in large doses by someone who is not used to it. Start introducing some of the pressures, some of the responsibilities (and inherent rights) at an earlier age, and then gradually add more as the individual proves himself to be ready for them. Yes, it is unwise to put more responsibilities onto people not able to handle them, but it is also unwise to protect people who would benefit from being less protected. So there’s your answer the next time somebody tries to end a debate with “Why are you in such a hurry to grow up?” Won’t they be surprised when it doesn’t get them out of answering?
America was founded on change. It was founded on tweaking the system until it was perfect. It threw off Monarchy for Republic; it got rid of the Articles of Confederation for the Constitution. It Amended and still amends that Constitution. We as a society have made mistakes before, and we will make them again. It’s how quickly we fix them that makes us or breaks us. We have enslaved African-Americans, forcefully migrated Amerindians, demeaned women, and now we marginalize youth.
We passed the Jim Crow laws and segregated black people, and this was a horrible, horrible thing. But at the time very few saw the need for change. False studies in anthroposociology, eugenics and theories of racial “superiority” and “inferiority”, were widely accepted. But after many years of struggle and civil war and blood shed, this finally changed. Racism was finally seen not as a radical cause, but as a fact that needed to be dealt with.
We didn’t give women the right to vote until the 1900’s. We treated them as inferiors even after that. We backed up our arguments with junk studies in sociobiology and ridged Androgyny. We have media articles about the perfect family, the wife’s nuclear role. We saw them as less then us.
Now, we don’t give youth the right to vote, or really the right to anything, we treat youths as inferiors. We back up our ingrained beliefs with Junk studies and media articles. We dismiss ageism as a far-fetch claim of rebellious youth. But just as with Racism and Sexism, we must look beyond imposed stereotypes. We must look to what is real, what is around us.
There will be those who don’t recognize ageism, just as there were those who didn’t recognize racism and sexism. History shows us it will be a long struggle, but history shows us we will prevail. Don’t despair or disbelieve. I’ve backed up my arguments well. We are fighting against a state of mind. But isn’t it time to create a more perfect union? Isn’t it?
As NYRA continues to grow, we feel that it is necessary to publish more documents and guides for youth, particularly students.
A recent project that Stefan Muller and I have taken on is developing a “Student Rights Handbook” where we list all of the rights that students have at schools and any limitations on those rights.
This valuable document will eventually be distributed to students in schools nationwide providing them with an immediate reference to their rights. This will enlighten students who are not aware of their rights and decide to just accept the punishment or oppression they may receive from their school’s administration.
In order for this to be a success, we need everyone’s help. This is CRUCIAL. Stefan and I cannot do this all alone - we can only list and summarize all of the rights that we are aware of and not others that you may know about. Anyone can help, and your help will be much appreciated. What comes out of this project will be a valuable asset to students all across the United States, and it will have a big impact on the youth rights movement.
If you want a chance to help NYRA and the movement, I challenge you to do so now. If you want to have an impact, you need to work on this project. Your work will benefit hundreds of thousands of students who have ever been mistreated at school and were not aware of their applicable rights.
If you want to help, go to http://www.youthrights.net/index.php?title=Student_Rights_Handbook.
I recently had the pleasure of interviewing Dustin Manuel, one of NYRA’s former board directors from the 2000-2001 term.
Manuel recently had a story he written many years ago about youth rights published in a collection of stories he wrote. Manuel wrote the story during the fall of his junior year in 2001 while he was in theatre class. His story is now featured among his other stories in a book called “Musings.” His book is on sale at http://www.lulu.com/content/98543 for only $10. Manuel told me he has only sold 15 copies, and he only receives $4 for each sale. I have read the story, and I encourage everyone to buy a copy.
Manuel who is a junior in college in San Francisco, Cali. wants to eventually be a film or broadway composer. His hobbies include writing, photography, politics, and astronomy.
Before a month ago, Manuel had not been involved with NYRA for a few years, and when he noticed the changes in the organization, his response was, “NYRA was small… it’s amazing how fast it’s grown in the past few years.”
As reported in my last blog entry, I have been actively working to create a position on my local school board for students. I was expecting to speak at the March board meeting, but I was informed a few days before the meeting that it had been postponed until the meeting on Monday, April 3, 2006.
On April 3, I spoke to the Buncombe County Board of Education during the public comment session. The board’s chair commended me for my activism and involvement, but he thought it was an issue that would have to be decided by the state level of government. Unfortunately, no members from the media were present.
I contacted the North Carolina State Board of Education, and I spoke to Betsy West, the assistant executive director for the board. She believed that the issue is a local level decision, but she referred me to the state board’s legal advisor, Harry Wilson. Wilson confirmed that it is indeed a decision that can be made by local boards of education in North Carolina.
I have been interviewed by the Asheville Citizen-Times about the latest stage in my endeavor. I have plans to report my new findings to the Buncombe County Board of Education at its next meeting in May.
NYRA just released a fascinating new study that Mike Males put together that makes a very convincing case that a large part of the reason for high traffic deaths among teens is not simply due to their age, but because of their poverty level. This is an angle of the issue that to my knowledge has never been considered before. Its about damn time.
What the study found was that low income drivers of all age groups experienced higher traffic fatality rates than middle income or more affulent drivers. In fact, poor teens have 750% more fatal crashes than rich teens. Once you equalize income levels between teens and adults, you see that teens only have a 40% higher crash rate than middle-age adults (the safest category of drivers). While this still means teens have a higher accident rate, it is MUCH smaller than what people generally think. More importantly the difference between teens and the safest adults is less than the difference between men and women.
For all the hysteria about teen driving in the past few months, its about time we hear the other side of it. What baffles me is that no one even considered doing this kind of analysis. When someone produces statistics that show black americans have higher crime rates observers immediately say that its nothing to do with their race, its because of their higher poverty rates or other socio-economic factors. And they are right. Why doesn’t the public give teens the same benefit of the doubt?
Instead no matter how poorly done or biased a study is, the media will shriek like banshees that youth are incompetent, immature, and unable to handle any responsibility. They shouldn’t be allowed to drive until 25 or else innocent people will die in a swath of teenage destruction. Ageism is the only reason for this double standard. Its not science, its not a desire to “help youth”. No, its bigotry and ageism that create this hypocrisy.
Hopefully this new study can shine some light on the glaring double standards that exist. Better yet maybe it’ll show people that teens aren’t as bad on the road as they think.
I’m probably grossly taking this guy’s comment the wrong way, but either way, I’m tired, so it got me going. On a message board I frequent, this guy talked about stuff that annoys him at the movie theatre. Light hearted enough, as his posts usually are. Among his complaints, however, was a remark about how parents let their kids run wild in public and don’t discipline them for it or, get this, how they mistakenly believe this “psychobabble” that children have as many rights as anyone else. That was all I needed to hear. Enjoy my response (mildly edited).
*blink*
Excuse me? Children having as much rights as anyone else is “psychobabble”? Because someone hasn’t lived the same number of years as other people, that makes them inferior and less entitled to basic human respect? I’m sure that’s not quite what you meant, but it just set me off when I saw that. I’m not saying these movie parents were right or anything. Don’t misunderstand me. However, blanket negativity towards children just disgusts me. Just about every horrible thing that happens to kids is because of this idea, whether subconscious or otherwise, that they are somehow not quite as human as the rest of us, that their mere presence is always a nuisance, that they are not people but rather the property of their parents. THIS is the kind of mentality that leads to children being abused, neglected, and having just about any other inhuman evil in the world cast upon them. Because such horrific people who do crap like that to kids for the most part think “Oh, they’re just kids, I can do whatever I want to them.” There is no excuse for it. I’m not saying kids shouldn’t be disciplined, but discipline respectfully! But even aside from that, what good is a sour attitude about youth? We consciously know that children really should be a source of joy, and they are in many ways, yet at the same time, we’ve also got these beliefs floating around that they’re really just a burden who cost money and cause their parents constant emotional grief and don’t appreciate what good things people do for them and just about any other stereotype about them you can name. All this because people are so worried that, God forbid, they show someone young a little bit of basic human respect. People think it’s so horrible if a child disrespects his elder? Heh. Please. I think the opposite is quite despicable, and I wish so many more people would realize that.
:cute:
Update (4-7-06): After returning to that message board and seeing the guy’s response to the above, it turns out that, yes, I did totally take his comment the wrong way. He’s actually totally cool about everything.
Regardless of what the law or your teachers have to say about this, you are as human as anyone over the age of 18 or 21, yet, 'minors' are one of the most oppressed groups of people in the world, and certainly the most discriminated against legally. - Grace Llewellyn
Why don't you 
