We’ve all had the feeling at some point. We’ve all seen a sign or been told something by a store employee, parent or school administrator that was just such an ageist injustice that it couldn’t go unchallenged. Even the least argumentative youth rights supporters must have felt the need to challenge a small ageist injustice at one point. For people like me who have to argue with everything, it happens significantly more often than that. Katrina even blogged about it in her December 11 entry, “Pet Store.” I’m not talking about major things, like a city-wide curfew or the voting age. I’m talking about a public place that doesn’t allow unattended youth or a store that voluntarily refuses to sell certain items to people under 18. This even applies to young people who wish to sit down and have a discussion with their overprotective parents or school administrators.

The urge to complain to an employee (parent, school administrator…) about these policies is a perfectly natural one for youth rights supporters to have, and it’s always a great idea to fight ageism wherever you see it, however, there are a few things that I have noticed during my years of complaining about ageism that help, and a few things I have seen on the NYRA forums and elsewhere that do not. So, here’s my official list of Complaining Tips in no particular order.

1. Don’t speak out of anger. If the injustice in question is such a horrible one that it gets you really passionate, maybe it’s better not to challenge it at the moment. Come back later or get a contact address (e-mail or regular mail) or phone number. Give it time, get your thoughts together, and then complain. Speaking on the spot out of emotion won’t help. You’ll just end up screaming or being rude, and you also won’t argue at your best. Anger blocks out the best arguments and answers and you’ll be left using the same reason over and over. It just won’t help. Believe me, I know how tempting it is to complain about it when you’re angry and to just yell and chew the employee out, but it’ll defeat any chance you had of getting the policy reversed. Just don’t do it.

2. Talk to a manager, the school principal, or someone else who is in charge. Yes, you can try yelling at the first employee (teacher, etc.) you see, but I can already tell you what response you’ll get. It will undoubtedly be some variant of, “I’m sorry. I don’t make the rules, I just have to follow them.” This is a very easy response for people to give; it allows them to get rid of you without agreeing with you. I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve heard that excuse. If the first person you ask about the policy uses this excuse, ask him who does make the rules and ask to talk to that person. If this person is not available at the moment, ask what the best time to see him would be or take a phone number or address. If the store is a chain, or the place is run by a central authority and the policy is not local, ask for an address or number to call.

3. Don’t think you always have to complain in person. It’s fine to do so and is often the easiest way, but I’ve found that sometimes a letter or e-mail is the best form to use for these situations. It lets you collect your thoughts and spend time wording them rather than just speaking on the spot. The backspace key is your friend.
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