A good parent will lock up detergents, medicines, and other toxics, so their tiny, toddler children cannot reach them. If not, the child might eat said item and be fatally poisoned. Seems reasonable enough, but there’s more.

When the child grows older, she might be trusted to carry around her own money and buy things alone from stores. The money could be either allowance or obtained some other way. Doesn’t matter. At this point, said child knows the aforementioned locked up items are dangerous and potentially deadly if misused. She knows the glass cleaner is for cleaning windows and mirrors. She knows the NyQuil is for cold symptoms. I should hope so! She’s twelve years old.

A good parent, however, may need assistance in keeping poisons away from their young daughter. A good parent knows that it is possible the girl just might be throwing caution to the wind and using cold medicines and other over the counter items for unintended uses. What with all these news stories about kids getting high off dextromethorphan or taking someone else’s prescription of Vicodin, parents just cannot be too careful.

It is for this reason that household medicines must remain under lock and key. It is for this reason it should be illegal for anyone under 18 to purchase any medicines, even ibuprofen. It is for this reason any student found with any medication on their person, even ibuprofen, must be suspended or expelled for possessing drugs. Why? It is very likely the students are selling these medicines to their classmates to get high. A responsible school just cannot let that happen.

You still with me? Well, there’s even more!

People under 18 cannot be trusted with drugs or toxics of any kind. It is also well known not to sell them eggs or toilet paper, because, most likely, they will use those items to vandalize cars and houses. Same with spray paint. Don’t sell them glue or markers either, because they can get high off those as well. They shouldn’t even be permitted to buy laser pointers, because we all know the first and only thing they’ll do with them is shine them in each other’s eyes.
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